Conquering Wedding Guest List Challenges
Today we’re talking about one of the big stresses of wedding planning, the guest list. If you haven’t already read our post on the 3 secrets of managing wedding stress, that’s a good place to start. It’s about getting in the right frame of mind before getting sucked into the details. A big detail such as wedding guest list challenges brings up a lot of questions:
- Do I have to invite my co-workers? All of them? My boss?
- Should we allow children?
- Who gets a plus one?
- Do we invite my parents friends?
The couples we work with have a variety of solutions to the guest list question. There a big weddings and small weddings, intimate weddings and elaborate weddings. What we’ve seen is that regardless of size, the couples that seem the happiest are the ones that made their choice with intention.
Therefore, as with much of our advice, before we get to those details we recommend that you focus on the big picture. We’re going to discuss a few general topics that might automatically answer some of the questions rolling around in your head. For example, no, you don’t have to invite all of your co-workers especially if you have already reached max venue capacity just with your families. That leads us into our first step towards conquering those guest list challenges.
sometimes the budget or venue decides for you
If you already have a venue, what’s the max number they allow? If you already know your catering numbers, what’s the max number that fits in your budget? If those numbers restrict some things then it’s out of your control, you don’t need to feel bad not inviting everyone you’ve ever met. On that note, even if you could… you don’t have to. Rule number one: no feeling bad for not inviting someone.
communicate about your ideal scenario
Let’s take a step back. If you don’t have your wedding venue yet then your guest list might influence your venue and caterer rather than the other way around. Discuss with your soon-to-be spouse whether you want a big or small wedding. Is it your dream to be surrounded by a big celebration or held by an intimate group of loved ones? Get specific about what defines big or small. Does 100 sound like a lot of people? What about 200 or 500? For some brides it’s not even a question that they will invite everyone in their big family. That often causes the numbers to rise quickly. For other brides, everything is up for discussion. Eloping isn’t even off the table. Talk about who you can’t envision your wedding without. Discuss your thoughts and then make a list. Don’t be afraid to prioritize that list.
know what the guest list impacts
The next step is to know what you guest list will impact. The first item to be impacted is your budget. Catering, cake, and bar costs increase with each person you invite. Decide if you’re ok not having an open bar in order to be able to invite more people or vice versa. If your catering bill gets too high you might have to cut other aspects of your budget so don’t forget about the big picture and your priorities. Check out our free guide on prioritizing your wedding planning. The second item it impacts is your experience. With 500 guests you might not have time to talk to everyone, but that might not matter to you as much as being surrounded by ample love and support.
decide who gets a say
Some couples are planning and paying for their wedding by themselves, in that case they get to have final say in all of the decisions. If parents or others are helping pay for the wedding then they might expect a say in the guest list. You can always decide who to bring into the guest list conversation. Be careful though, if you open it up then they might think they have a say so only do so if you really want to know their opinion. Talking with your siblings about your idea that you might not want kids at the wedding might be a good idea. You can gauge their reaction to being told they need to find a babysitter. Perhaps they’ll be relieved for a night off to party or perhaps they’ll be stressed at the extra hassle. Similarly, you can talk with you friends about how important it is to them to bring a plus one. Maybe they have plenty of other friends in attendance and aren’t worried about it or maybe they’ve been dating a special someone for awhile and want to bring that person. Navigating the needs of others can be challenging so start with your most important guests, it might be best to keep your best friend happy rather than inviting a distant acquaintance while not allow your friends fiance to attend.
FREE comprehensive e-guide: Prioritize your planning so your wedding is a memorable adventure.
Stay tuned to the Bergreen Blog as we continue to tackle various topics that are cause for wedding stress. We want your wedding day to be a unforgettable experience, but an unforgettably good one! Feel free to view more wedding photography advice posts and if there are questions you have or tips you are looking for, don’t hesitate to get in touch or comment below with how we can help! Check out more wedding guest list tips by wedding planner Erica Sarrell Bull.
We are Marc and Brenda Bergreen, a husband and wife photography team specializing in outdoor weddings and other adventures. As Colorado adventure wedding photographers we’re here to help you plan and capture your ideal mountain wedding. We also frequently travel to California and other wedding destinations to document your love in a variety of memorable settings. Don’t hesitate to contact us and let us know how we can help! Be sure to follow us (weddings instagram & adventures instagram) and/or like us (facebook) to stay tuned. In the meantime, remember to…
