Planning for the Marriage Ahead | After the Wedding

Today I don’t want to talk about your wedding. I want to talk about your marriage. There are countless wedding planning posts out there, endless tips on ceremonies and receptions, and never-ending ideas for making your big day one to remember. It’s important to think beyond day 1 and into the future of your love.

how to grow together

It’s a fact, we all change and grow. We’re impacted by the twists and turns of life. You may not be the same person seven years into your marriage as you are today. Or perhaps you’re the same person but you have different goals and priorities. I know that’s true for us. Over the past seven years we’ve moved from Seattle to California to Colorado, we’ve quit jobs and built a business, and we’ve become parents. And those are just the big, obvious, surface level changes we’ve gone through. One of our goals is to both share our dreams and have shared dreams. Marc has climbed El Cap multiple times with my full support and only minor jealously. He’s grown as a climber not to mention the soul searching that occurs while spending days hanging in space on a granite wall. I’ve become a yoga teacher and have dedicated countless hours to training, practice, and discovery with the support and occasional participation of my husband. Together we’ve chosen life goals to strive towards and built a picture of what we want our life to be. When that picture changes or evolves, we discuss it in an attempt to stay on the same page and make sure we’re moving in the same direction. Growing together.

how to show love

For many of us it was easy to fall in love. Much easier than it is to continually show love. Forgiveness, trust, compassion, understanding, compromise, communication, patience, and fun are all qualities I’d love to have in my marriage. Some of those things can be quite difficult. When it comes to our marriage, we each have a responsibility to take care of ourselves so that we can be better partners. For example, instead of wishing Marc got out of the car faster I can work on my patience. Sure, it feels like a stupid example about something that’s not that important, but how often are our biggest fights with people over something that’s actually quite stupid? Rather that trying to be right, can we love better?

how to handle the hard stuff

Sometimes the hard subjects are the ones we most need to talk about. Money for example can be a huge source of stress and being on the same page is vital. Often where we spend our money is where our priorities lie so money fights are often about more than just money. Parenting is another tricky one. We were all raised a little differently and likely have strong opinions about how we do and don’t want to parent. Being on the same team is key and can only be done through open communication. So, how do we handle the hard stuff? Talk about it, make it a priority, and get on the same team.

the best advice we’ve been given

And lastly, some of the best advice we’ve been given is to make time to have fun together. We fell in love because of our shared love of the outdoors. Taking the time for a hike, climb, or even just hammock time renews our love and reminds us who we are. Regular dates and quality time together strips away the stress, even just for a moment, and give us the strength we need to keep planning for a great marriage.

Thanks for listening, perhaps some of these tips help or at the very least remind you to take some time to think past the marriage to the wedding day. Still just looking for wedding planning advice? Check out our wedding planning advice and download our free wedding planning e-guide.

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